Self-defeating behaviours are those that take you away from the goals you’ve established for yourself. These actions can be self-defeating and distracting, and make us feel exhausted and unhappy with yourself. Some theories suggest that self-defeating behaviours can be a defence mechanism that fools people into thinking they’re dealing with pressure, stress or social pressures, etc. Others claim that self-defeating behaviours help people stay in their comfortable zone (e.g. If you feel that someone is lacking confidence in themselves, they might be a threat to a job to maintain an unsatisfactory level in their career). Seeking help from a mental health professional through online therapy at TalktoAngel can change your thought patterns.
Many people believe that these actions are insurmountable to overcome. Self-defeating beliefs and thoughts are the root of self-defeating behaviour. The most common examples are:
- People will not be enthralled by me if I’m not perfect.
- To succeed I must not make a mistake, or fail.
- People who love or cherish each other must never be at odds.
- My issues with my partner are the result of other people.
- I will always be the right one.
- I’d like to be in control, relaxed and satisfied.
- I must suppress or cover my emotions whenever I feel scared and sad or feeling vulnerable.
- People won’t be impressed with me when I’m not entertaining or happy. Or interesting.
- My issues are not solvable.
- I’m not good enough and a mess.
What do you do when you feel as that you’re engaged in self-destructive behavior?
Self-defeating thoughts may come up in the smallest of moments and ruin confidence in ourselves and derail our spirits. How can overcome them and embrace joy instead? Today, we’re going to explore exactly that, and offer five strategies to defeat self-defeating thoughts.
- Check your perception:
The first step to overcome the negative thinking is to acknowledge that they’re first and first in your mind, and not true. If you are beginning to experience self-defeating thoughts, you need to consider why you feel this way, and what’s the reason and why it’s not true.
There are a few things to consider What evidence do I have to support this belief? Is this my interpretation or is it based on fact? Do you think anyone else would say this about me? Once you confront those negative ideas, you mind will return to reality and notice the obvious inaccuracies.
- Try to put it in the context of.
When we have self-defeating feelings, our emotions overwhelm us and cause situations to be completely out of the realm of. When this happens the best method to calm yourself and to embrace positive thoughts is to put everything in perspective.
The questions to ask yourself during this time are like Are the circumstances not as bad as it appears? What’s the most disastrous result, and what is the likelihood of it? How important will this be in a year five years, 10 years? Putting the situation in perspective will not only aid in calming your anxieties, but assist in eliminating those negative thoughts that are forming in your mind.
- Find a peaceful place.
If self-defeating thoughts are something that you constantly struggle with, consider setting up a space that is happy that you can go to when you are feeling overwhelmed. For instance, you can ask your family, friends and other your loved ones to send you notes or letters to express how much they cherish you. You can save them all up and, when you start feeling negative thoughts creeping in, seek into your sanctuary of happiness and relax in the love.
Include things that will make you feel happy in your home. If you’re an avid visual person create a wall of your favorite photos of your family and friends. Make a playlist of your most loved music to listen to. Whatever makes you happy make a compilation and keep it in mind for rainy days.
- Establish a support system.
We’ve said that every person has self-defeating thoughts at time or another. If you’re struggling regularly Bring together a few reliable family members and friends to form an aid those times when you’re down. Make a list of contact numbers along with email addresses and other details of people who will be there for you whenever you require it.
If you are ever feeling the shivering thoughts of doubt Use the support systems you have to rely on. We’re all here to help one another. What is it, after all, that families and friends for?
- Change your language.
Then, and most importantly get rid of self-defeating thoughts by changing your words. When you experience a negative thought you must change your thoughts to something positive and something you feel happy about.
For instance, I suck at math could be transformed to however I’m a fantastic author. Or I’m not sufficient to be loved. However, these people love me and believe I’m sufficient.
Seeking help from top psychologists.
If you’re struggling with self-defeating thoughts, there is no guarantee of beating them. However, there are several ways you can take to beat them as effectively as you can. The most crucial thing is to depend on your family and friends to help you, and concentrate on getting through the other side with an optimistic outlook on life.
Get help from a professional. A meeting with an online counselor, or psychologist could be crucial to reducing unhealthy habits. Psychologists can help you identify the factors that trigger your self-defeating habits and provide you with strategies to substitute them with healthier alternatives.
Visit TalktoAngel if you want to find the best mental health professionals online. This search engine for “Counseling for relationship” or “Relationship counsellor” can help you get the help you need.